Tea with Ted

The lovely crew at Ted Baker invited me on a press trip to Port Meirion, after spending a week thinking I was off to Cornwall and nearly missing my train Effing Hammersmith and City line- it is NOT ok stop at every red signal I ended up in Wales! Who knew? 

Infact I didn't know anything about this amazing place. Port Meirion has something to do with pottery I must look that up, but also is like a mini Disney Land.. Scattered on the Welsh coast are multi coloured cottages with surreal features that make you think you're on an acid trip. Or so I've heard. 

Check out this one??! What's weird about it....?

The three windows on the right are painted on! Wooaahhhh. God job I wasn't stoned i'd have probs pulled a whitey. The whole place was like this, it was built by a guy called Sir Clough William- Ellis he bought the village in Wales for 5k in the twenties and year after year came back and built another cottage, inspired by Italy but given his own twist. I reckon this guy was mega lolz ,.

 My home was the top one, gardeners cottage, I did ask if that meant I'd got the staff's quarters but it was swwiiiishhhh with me Orla Kiely blanket, bottle of prosecco AND sherry, I literally couldn't have been happier. 

And Ted sure know how to do a press trip, on Thursday we woke and had a tour of the village by our main man Mareick, now this guy got swag. If you're going ask for a personal tour, he gave us all the celeb goss, Jules Holland has actually built a mini Port Meirion in his garden and George Harrison threw his fiftieth birthday here and wasn't allowed a seafront cottage unless he got battered and fell off the edge. I remember all the important bits. 

We then went to the dog graveyard. As a cat owner I find this a little biased but whatevs

We put a wishing coin in the tree stump. Apaz you put a coin in the tree trunk and it takes away your chosen ailment, if you steal one you get the coins illness. I was hammering quids in for about half an hour #hypercondriac #cureme #howmanycanido #imlyingitwasjtquidsitwastwentypences

After the amazing tour and it really was amazing we had a spot of afternoon tea and then a little heli ride, as you do, casual. 

The afternoon tea on Ted Baker crockery, I mean helllooooo, how much do I need this in my life? 

The Heli.

My future husband. I went up with shiv from Ted Baker and Jenna my old assistant (who bought me Greggs vouchers for Xmas- love her) they both nearly lost it when I asked if I could have a got on his sticks. Chill out gals, he knew what I was talking about ;)

Our evening plan was dinner in their posh restaurant and drinks by an open fire. I was made for this shit! 

Alright I'll have the Parmesan and pea drink thing and some mini fried fish. 

Seared mackerel fillet with roasted onion tart and horseradish foam. 

Black truffle poached chicken breast, morel mushroom cannelloni and steamed asparagus with marjoram

Millionaire Shortbread 

The food was beaut, we exchanged online dating stories while asking all the young waiters if they wanted to join us at our bonfire. 

Luckily for one in the group they accepted, wink wink. You know who you are. 

We then sat round the campfire and played 'I have never' turns out I'm a total square and some people get frisky on public transport. The night ended with a bizarre photoshoot with a lantern and some guy called Owen but that's another story.

Not all Magpies are Bad

Now EVERYONE knows the North is THE best place in the world for the British classic fish and chips. Haddock if you're wondering. 

And one of the best places is the little seaside down of Whitby. Home to Goth lovers and Dracula- Who knew the Count was a fried food fanatic?!

Nestled on Pier Road is ' the Magpie' an old family run fish and chip shop from the thirties which is renowned for being the best in the area so I took  the southerner to gods own country and headed for a day trip to Whitters. Martin Parr would have had a bloody field day. 

That's right- did I mention me and Kate Andrews got a first at Uni siting Parr as our biggest influence? And that was in the eighties before all you whipper-snappers jumped on the 'thisisengland' bandwagon.

Anyway onto the food, we hit the Magpie and only had to queue about 15 minutes. A queue in the north? Now this is bloody unheard of, We're not at burger and Lobster in Leicester Square now you know. Must be good. 

I ordered the anchovies to start, oh haven't things got fancy, they were beaut and I'd wolfed em down before the southerner had even looked up from his menu, that and my carafe of rose. Anchovies and carafes?! What's happening to the north we'll probs get sushi soon and then you've got nowt over us.

I followed with a small haddock for £9.99. A SMALL

An obvious order of picked onions, 3 for the price of one in my victoria park local. 

I didn't touch these. Vom. 

Then we wandered up to the castle and took in the views. Didn't pay the entry fee of £6, I could see it perfectly well from the outside. Who needs a holiday when England looks this good. 

#nofilter and all that. I know I'm starting to sound like Jon Snow but I bloody love the North. 

P.s I followed this with oxtail in a giant Yorkshire pudding with red onion gravy about 3hours later. OBVS.